u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
