this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
