I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize