Welp...herpes.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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