So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
