Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
