I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
