So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
