kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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