Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
