Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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