I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
