She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
