either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
