So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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