We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
