Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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