And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize