Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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