Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
