im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
