It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
