I CAN MOONWALK!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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