If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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