can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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