I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
