how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
