I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
