he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
