we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
50% drunk capacity currently
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
