Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
