I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
