I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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