I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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