mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
