Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
