guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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