Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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