Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
