Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
