I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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