if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Don't make out with my wife yet
only you would photoshop your dick
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
