Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
