i can't believe i had my finger in that
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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