windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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