Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
