Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
