Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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