I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
