I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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