OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
