My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
