Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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