no you cant smoke seaweed
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
