She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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