My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm both gender and math confused
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize